Moondew
by Twilights Herald
Summary: The past shapes and guides us, but it doesn't define us.


I never thought those girls had it in them.

For me, the story starts earlier. I guess you could say it started a lot earlier, when my father decided to change sides. I didn't know about the war, then. All I knew was that he went to Paris and vanished into thin air. And that I had to grow up without my father after that. My mother wasn't paying much attention either. It wasn't that hard keeping a floating plush toy secret when I became Cure Moonlight.

But other than Hanasaki-sama, I didn't have anyone else to rely on. And as much help as having the former Cure Flower to train me was, in the end it was just me and Cologne against the Messengers.

And Professor Sabaku. I can never forget him and Dark Precure. Even if I want to. He was my father. She was my sister. I killed both of them. They...Sabaku was barely my father anymore, even with his memory back. He was a Desert Messenger. His Heart Flower even seemed to be damaged beyond repair. And Dark Precure couldn't be anything more than that, she wasn't much more than a particularly dangerous Sunacky made in my image.

That doesn't make what I had to do any easier. But I'm getting well and truly ahead of myself now.

Fighting the Desert Messengers alone, knowing there's no one else you can depend on...Hanasaki-san could become Cure Flower again in an emergency, but she never told me that. Erika would probably have been mad at her if she found out before we really needed it, but it was the right choice. It's something none of us like to think about, but she's not exactly getting younger.

I have no choice but to hope that Cure Flower is never needed again. Tsubomi probably doesn't want to think about it, but Hanasaki-san isn't going to be available to bail us out again if we need her.

I hold out a bit less hope that the rest of us will never be called into action again. The Baron just proves there are Desert Messengers aside from Dune out there, and they may show up again. Plus those other incidents with other Precures. That's why I've kept my Heart Seed handy. Better to be prepared.

I've...been avoiding this, haven't I? Cologne. The others...when they're not here, I don't think they like to think too much about their partners. After all, the faeries aren't _gone_, they're just...distant friends who don't have much time to visit.

But a Precure's partner _isn__'__t_ just a friend. I knew Cologne for three years, and I would go so far as to say that he was, at that point, the closest thing I could have to a lover in my lifetime. We shared _everything_ a young girl and a member of another sapient species possibly could. He was a constant in my life I never thought would go away.

And I got careless with Dark Cure. He paid for it. End of story. My Heart Seed shattered, and the only way I can call it back is through sheer force of belief. Faith in myself and...my friends.

It's so strange, but when Tsubomi and Erika started 'playing' at being Precure I was actually a little angry at them for not taking it seriously. They couldn't have known, they _shouldn__'__t_ have known. I was harsher on them than was called for, but they needed to learn, and learn fast.

Itsuki was a good addition for them, but I don't know if they were good for her. But she got the girls on track and did really well for herself as a Precure. But I still worry about her as a person.

The big problem was Dark Cure. It was like a bad omen, the way she could turn up at the girls' best times and utterly destroy them. Hanasaki-sama managed to keep Coppe and I on the job keeping them safe until they got themselves going, but I was just...training my successors, before allowing myself to fade from the stage.

Until I talked to Cologne again.

You know, I'm still not sure if that was really him or if I was just telling myself what I desperately needed to hear. That I hadn't failed. That I was worth something. The first...now, I really don't believe it. I failed him. But that didn't make me worthless.

And that's how I started climbing out of my hole.

It wasn't some grand epiphany. It took me some time to realize I could still make a difference, that I was a good person. I know, I know, this sounds overblown and dramatic, but it really did hit me that hard.

And that's a good thing, because if it hadn't meeting my father again, after everything he did, would have destroyed me.

He didn't make the Messengers. But he's the one who made them a threat. I still don't know exactly why, what prompted him to do something so...omnicidal. I guess I never will. He came back to himself in his last minute, and he said 'sorry.'

It's not enough, but it's all I'll get. So I have to be satisfied.

So, what now? Well, as Cure Moonlight, I'll continue to watch, and wait. I already said it once, but the incident in Paris was quite clear - there may be other threats out there. Let the others enjoy their happy ending and think it's over.

And as Tsukikage Yuri? I'm intelligent, reasonably good-looking, and I literally have the whole world open to me if I want to take it.

I may not know what's in front of me, but I don't have to let what's behind dictate it at all.


End file.
